Re-learn to fall in love with yourself, a breakthrough

Since April this year, I have been falling in love with myself; I am having a love affair with me.

It is a breakthrough for me; a victory I am proud to claim; a feeling that permeates each cell of my body.

I am finally home.

Once upon a time, it was our birthright to love and be loved

Do you remember that once upon a time, we knew that it was our birthright to give love and receive love when we were little?

Somehow, we relinquished this right…to a point, we forgot that it ever existed.

For years, I had this index finger pointing at me for how I could have done better in life; looked better for the outside world. Be a better wife, a better mom or a better human being.

The Mindset of Getting Perfection

You see, in my subconscious mind, I was looking for perfection. This belief followed me all my life until I caught it resurfaced to my conscious mind one day.

On that day, I decided to take action and part from it.

Childhood Belief Became Your Internal Software

It started in my childhood.

On the six subjects that we studied in elementary school, I expected to get the perfect scores, 600 out of 600. If I did not achieve that, I would consider myself a failure.

Why? I do not know.

I once scored 594 on my exams; my mom asked where the 6 points went. And she also reminded me not to forget to claim them back on my next exams. And I did.

Did she do it intentionally? Most likely not

Could it be cultural? Maybe.

Did I let the expectation of perfection control me? Most likely.

I managed to get 600/600 in most of my school years.

On the outside, it looked as if I was a stellar student, and I had everything going for me.

But, on the inside, the mindset of getting perfection permeated everything I did.

This mindset once served me well at school became this mean inner voice that started to hurt me in the long run. It criticized everything that I did or did not do.

Since it went into my unconsciousness, it was on autopilot, built in my internal thinking pattern and external behaviour pattern.

Building A Prison Of Perfection

With time, I noticed that I stopped trying anything new.

Trying new things meant going through the learning curves of not being perfect.

I told myself I could not afford to have that. I needed to maintain perfection in everything that I did.

Mistakes Learned On My Journey

In retrospect, I realized that my inner mean voice for perfection played a BIG part in delaying my journey to the wholeness I was looking for.

Because of it, I worried too much about what other people would think of me.

Instead of focusing on what I wanted, my focus was on the possible reaction that other people would think of me.

I was afraid to be ‘imperfect.’ This invisible force was so strong, and it gripped me to stay put wherever I was.

Ironically, I later realized this force stemmed from my fears of judgement from my friends, family, and EVEN someone I did not know well.

A Breakthrough Finally Came

It started with a burning desire to feel fulfilled and happy.

ONE, I turned 50 years old this year. Even though age can be a limiting belief, the point was that I realized time would not wait for me. So, it created a sense of urgency.

TWO, an ex-coworker I was very fond of, died at age 49.
She was positive; her full of energy was contagious. Despite all that, she did not get to live.

I realized that it was such a privilege to be alive, and therefore, I wanted every day to be a meaningful day.

And THREE, the most crucial step for me. I invested in myself in a BIG way.

Out of my ordinary mind would do, I started taking many elite coaching classes. The investment WAS BIG, but I finally had a breakthrough.

As they said, It was WORTH every penny.

Assume your new role immediately

One method I’ve learned from my coaching, which was unconventional, was the laws of assumption (read “Fake it till you make it”)

In conventional thinking, we expect to have incremental progress in anything that we do in life.

However, based on the law of assumption, you assume the role/image you want to be as if you are already in possession.

Your STARTING point is your ENDING point.
You bring your future into your present.

With the law of assumption, your behaviour must assume the role you want to play IMMEDIATELY.

“ACT” as if you are already the person you want to be

The key is keeping that clear image of your end goal.

By doing so, your mind is activated to go towards your image, and your behaviour will be in alignment with your image.

It might sound too simple and too good to be true.

However, based on my own experiences and the experiences of all my coaches and the classes and books that I have taken and read, this is an important step in manifesting what you want.

Shut Up Your Inner Critical Voice

This is also a very effective way to BYPASS that critical inner voice I’d mentioned as it does not exist in the end result you are seeking.

You act as if this inner voice does not exist.

For example, if you want to learn how to play tennis, just play it and have fun with it. Instead of thinking that I might not be good, so I do not want to try it or what if other players are going to think that I am not good.

Or if you want to sing Karaoke, do it. Do not think about what other people would judge your voice or make fun of you.

Learn Like A Child Again

The funny thing is that this was the way we learned anything in our childhood…At the age when limiting conditioning did not enter into our subconscious mind yet.

If it did, we would not have taken our first step to walk, and if it did, even if we took our first step and fell, we would not have got up and tried it again.

This is what a ‘quantum leap.’ refers to.

You skip levels in your limiting thinking and go straight into the action that is required at the moment.

You learn like a child again.