Before going into ‘how to dance between the form an the formless’, I’d like to take this opportunity to first clarify what it meant.

The form that is referred to here is our look or exterior self.

In the posts ‘Love your body from afar’ and “ Mirror mirror on the wall’, I hope that they did not leave you with the impressions that our exterior looks were not important at all…At least, that was what my son told me as I was applying on a lipstick….

He’d said:  “Mom, In your previous posts, they seemed to indicate that looks were not important. If that was the case, what is the point of applying on a lipstick?’

Therefore, I’d thought to write this post that would elaborate on some details that were not addressed in the previous posts.

Live Within Form

As mentioned in my previous posts, like many of us, I used to live through my identification with my body.

I WAS MY BODY.

Physically, I have a body type that is called “the ruler” in a fashion term. It refers to a shape like a ruler without many curves.

So, when we live from the place of exterior form like I did in the past, I would constantly compare my ruler body to the beauty standards the media put in front of us. The media portraited beauty through images of beautifully skinny girls with lots of curves.

And this REPETITIVE comparisons eventually led me to my inferiority that was accepted at my subconscious level.  I regularly reminded myself that “I did not measure up”.

With that identity to my exterior form, I became obsessed with the idea to fix me my exterior self.

Not to exaggerate, I even quit my corporate job twice to go into the fashion industry to find ‘trade secrets” to “disguise” my body through the art of mix and match.

With a negative self-image, looking back this inferiority most likely affected my career choice as well…

It sounds SILLY now but it was definitely not silly to me in those years.

Based on my personal experiences, I realized that I was not the only one. How many of us are doing this? Are you, maybe unknowingly or at a different degree?

Live Without Form

As my journey in life ventured into the world of spirituality, I realized that we are spiritual beings living in a human body( please refer to the book death by Sadguru”).

Through spirituality, my self-awareness evolved. It equipped me to start developing a mental distance towards my body. And guess what? my relationship with my body changed.

Ironically, when you dis-identify yourself from your form, you can really enjoy the form even more.

The analogy to this would be that if you love someone, you need to set them free.

To love your body, you would need to first let go of your control over it.  You would want to understand it and allow it to just be it. In short, you accept it as is.

Strangely, with the change in my perspective of how I saw my body, my behavior towards my body changed.

Here are a few examples that I would like to share with you:

1. I’ve started to dress by following my natural body shape. Instead of piling on large accessories to bulk it up or creating a visual distraction, I’ve used dedicate or no accessories to let it shine (I’ve accepted its shape and allowed it to be it);

2. I’ve chosen better food sources by paying attention to how my body feels. I want my body to get better and right energy sources so that it runs better to carry out my daily tasks (as opposed to eating for taste or eating on impulse);

3. I’ve gotten rid of my compulsive shopping behavior. I do not need to try hard to make it stand out.  It is perfect as is;

4. I really care for my body with love and not with a sense of constant judgment;

5. I see my body more like a tool and a place that I (the spirit) live in. I just want it to be effective in the execution of my daily tasks while comfortable for me to live in (I have created a distance between this is me, and that is my body).

Create A Distance

So, how do we create that mental distance?

The mental distance can be achieved through dis-identification from the form/body.

Here are the suggested ways to allow that distance:

1. meditation & yoga;

2. Listen to your thoughts: Observe and write down your thought patterns towards your body.

3. Watch your behavior: Pay attention to your behavior patterns towards your body.

4. Identify and write down the negative patterns from step 2&3;

5. Pay attention to these negative mental or behavioral patterns. When they show up, immediately, visualize a “distance” between that pattern and your body. You would need to do it repetitively.  You could consider making it a mantra ” I am not my body”.

Consistency and persistence pay off.  You should consider practicing this every day until it becomes a habit at the subconscious level.

Liberate from Your Physical Self

Once this created distance becomes part of the involuntary behavior, you would know it. For example, you would feel an indescribable sense of lightness and freedom in your movement and execution in everything you do.

You would realize how much energy we use in holding that attachment to our exterior self. Without the attachment, you get a sense of “wholeness”.

Besides, you would also develop a sense of respect and appreciation for your body (you witness your body to perform what you ask for).

Remember, this is the only body you get for this lifetime.

Use it as what it is made for;

Communicate with it as your best friend;

Pumper it as it deserves.

After all, it is the best tool you can find in the market that is customized specifically for YOU ONLY!!